GG a Perfect Gentleman for 11 months 3 weeks and 6 days

[Garpal Gumnut]

Dear Fellow Members of ASF,

I have had a bet on with a very rich famous Queenslander for 1 big one that I would avoid an infraction on ASF for 12 months.

Tomorrow is the Anniversary of my last infraction which occurred on 9/7/2010. I include a sample of the sins I have committed over the years, to give you an idea of my venality. This is a representative but not complete list.

Problematic Post
Deleted Post
Personal Attack/Insulting Other Member(s)
Deliberately Provoking Others

May I please ask members tonight not to provoke me, in particular Balmain basket weavers, hairy legged feminists and PEN pathetics.

Godbotherers and Climate Alarmists, please go to your churches and pray and leave ASF alone tonight.

Those in love with anything free except love, should equally be abed early tonight. And also those who delight in complaining to waiters in restaurants when I light up a decent Cohiba, or are jealous of those of us privileged to drive an Arnage.

A grand is a grand, after all.


gg

 

[sails]

Well done, GG. Any offending posts in the past must have been wiped out pretty fast because I don't remember any such thing...

Good luck with the next few hours. Maybe switch the computer off so you aren't tempted?

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Well done, GG. Any offending posts in the past must have been wiped out pretty fast because I don't remember any such thing...

Good luck with the next few hours. Maybe switch the computer off so you aren't tempted?

Thanks sails,

I may very well go to bed early, we are looking at a very chilling 13 degrees tonight in Townsville, and I'm all tired out after the Origin win.

gg

 

[Knobby22]

State of Origin between two states only in a game no one else cares about full of no necks and rednecks where they share women in packs and spend half the game hugging each other suggesting they are not real men like in other sports. And the fact you watched it with mainly men because unlike Aussie Rules women don't go all says it all for me.

- (gotta try)

 

[trainspotter]

GADZOOKS man ! What will happen once the bet is won and the grand is in the fuel tank of the Arnage? Back to your usual irascible self?

 

[Glen48]

Maybe some one will hack his phone and give us the good oil on when the funds will change hands in the brown paper bag on the Strand , I suggest look at the Sea View pub for some one who looks out of place in Lycra Bike suit and wearing a hel mut and walking around stabbing P Zero high performance bike tyres.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

State of Origin between two states only in a game no one else cares about full of no necks and rednecks where they share women in packs and spend half the game hugging each other suggesting they are not real men like in other sports. And the fact you watched it with mainly men because unlike Aussie Rules women don't go all says it all for me.

- (gotta try)

Good try K22

Manlove is never having to say you are sodded.

gg

GADZOOKS man ! What will happen once the bet is won and the grand is in the fuel tank of the Arnage? Back to your usual irascible self?

Thanks ts,

To paraphrase Burt Monro in the World's Fastest Indian,
"I live more than most men do in a lifetime, in the Arnage for five minutes at 160kph."

gg

 

[breaker]

Congrats GG Imy self shall be living the high life up your way ,in the shape of a catermeran for 10 days in the whitsundays where I shall be smoking stogies drinking hahn super dry [heavies] toped of with some red Coolibah or other wise, all whilst wearing dark sun glasses so as not to get caught perving on someone other than Mrs Breaker.... Oh and to be incognito of course

 

[nulla nulla]

5 mins at 160kph travels more than 13ks, I thought they fell over if you went arounds curves and corners?

how is that goon drinking competition going? Or has it been postponed due to ill health. Liver failure from drinking goon?

Has the NBN rollout been cancelled yet?

 

[drsmith]

May I please ask members tonight not to provoke me, in particular Balmain basket weavers, hairy legged feminists and PEN pathetics.

Godbotherers and Climate Alarmists, please go to your churches and pray and leave ASF alone tonight.

You forgot to mention lovely young lady members of the local constabulary insisting that you don appropriate cranium attire when on the deadly.

Or was that riding on the grass ??

 

[Calliope]

State of Origin between two states only in a game no one else cares about full of no necks and rednecks where they share women in packs and spend half the game hugging each other suggesting they are not real men like in other sports. And the fact you watched it with mainly men because unlike Aussie Rules women don't go all says it all for me.

- (gotta try)

Thank god it's over. The parochialism in the Queensland media is very juvenile.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Congrats GG Imy self shall be living the high life up your way ,in the shape of a catermeran for 10 days in the whitsundays where I shall be smoking stogies drinking hahn super dry [heavies] toped of with some red Coolibah or other wise, all whilst wearing dark sun glasses so as not to get caught perving on someone other than Mrs Breaker.... Oh and to be incognito of course

Perfick holiday. Enjoy. But watch out for satellites.

http://www.ausculture.com/extra/2011/01/01/exclusive-satellite-catches-bo/

gg

5 mins at 160kph travels more than 13ks, I thought they fell over if you went arounds curves and corners?

how is that goon drinking competition going? Or has it been postponed due to ill health. Liver failure from drinking goon?

Has the NBN rollout been cancelled yet?

NBN is yet to be finally over the line. There is more information , unknown knowns, to come out soon.

Goon is good and cheap, and doesn't break when you drop it if you fall over.

In NQ most roads go straight for miles and miles and miles. So much better in an Arnage with a fridge and a television.

You forgot to mention lovely young lady members of the local constabulary insisting that you don appropriate cranium attire when on the deadly.

Or was that riding on the grass ??

Females of the copper class, are ok by me, in fact quite attractive, from the right aspect.

The opening scene of The Bill, is a modern moving Caravaggio.

gg

 

[noco]

GG, don't have too many 'brownies' at the Ross Island pub tomorrow.

And when you sober up, would you please check out Ross Creek for the 'MAGPIE'.

Geez, I miss him in the Saturday's Townsville Bulletin.

 

[sval62]

Come on Numnut (sorry) Gumnut, I bet you 2 grand that you cant get through 12 months
without any infractions.
We are in your town this week with the V8 Supercars, dont forget to wear your pith helmut while touring the track. Just love the sound of a V8 in the morning.:car:

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

GG, don't have too many 'brownies' at the Ross Island pub tomorrow.

And when you sober up, would you please check out Ross Creek for the 'MAGPIE'.

Geez, I miss him in the Saturday's Townsville Bulletin.

Come on Numnut (sorry) Gumnut, I bet you 2 grand that you cant get through 12 months
without any infractions.
We are in your town this week with the V8 Supercars, dont forget to wear your pith helmut while touring the track. Just love the sound of a V8 in the morning.:car:

I have moved out of casa Ross Island for the V8's, as my room is being let to some nouveaux riches from the Hunter Valley. I know, it takes all types, and I still prefer goon.

$2000 a night for my humble pallet convinced me that I should accept a week with a grief stricken young lady in Yarrawonga whose rich husband died in sad circumstances earlier this year, and who is in need of a listening ear.

I will thus be only able to listen to the distant vroom vroom of V8's but in between my listening I will try and think of you all. Promise.

The Magpie is missed from the Bully.

Now to serious business, I am 100% in cash, and plan a share buying spree, as I sense a change in all our fortunes.

gg

 

[nulla nulla]

Come on Numnut (sorry) Gumnut, I bet you 2 grand that you cant get through 12 months
without any infractions.
We are in your town this week with the V8 Supercars, dont forget to wear your pith helmut while touring the track. Just love the sound of a V8 in the morning.:car:

Hey sval62

Like your avatar man. 1962 Valiant S, Slant six motor, so powerful for it's time when produced it had to be tuned down for the Australian market. Rumour has it that these beasts came with the first factory fitted airbag in the steering wheel, which was disabled for the Australian market? Motor had to be tilted to fit under the bonnet.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Am I the only bad bastard left on ASF?

There is nobody to insult, bait, or personally attack.

At least I can still provoke Balmain basketweavers and all the other colourful trendies, climate alarmists, godbotherers and fundamentalists.

I am off to Yarrawonga, sorry, off to bed shortly.

And not one moderator picked the acrostic all year.

gg

 

[Julia]

It is said we should all engage in at least one selfless act every year.
So, gg, I will generously offer to accept any provocative or insulting posts which may otherwise have been directed toward you until your 12 months has expired, i.e. a couple of hours.

However, from the lack of spite evident in the preceding posts, I doubt too much sacrifice will be required on my part.

 

[cynic]

Now to serious business, I am 100% in cash, and plan a share buying spree, as I sense a change in all our fortunes.

gg

Well! Have I got a deal for YOU!!!

Just in today, the prestigious and much vaunted solitary, CynicShire ThrowAway Impropriety Unlimited, is proud to offer you a nonce in a lifetime opportunity to purchase shares in it's premiere IPO (Inequitable Private Offloading).

These shares are fully unregulated and 100% guaranteed to return a profit to the issuer (i.e. cynic).

But you'll need to be quick. There are only 3141592653589793 shares on offer, for a mere 1 million GBP per share, and it's already 100% undersubscribed. So be sure to get in fast, because this is an offer that I definitely don't want you to miss!

P.S. Be sure and mention this post when subscribing and ,as a special offer, I'll happily increase the price to 2 million GBP - is this the deal of the millenium or what?!!

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

It is said we should all engage in at least one selfless act every year.
So, gg, I will generously offer to accept any provocative or insulting posts which may otherwise have been directed toward you until your 12 months has expired, i.e. a couple of hours.

However, from the lack of spite evident in the preceding posts, I doubt too much sacrifice will be required on my part.

Thank you Julia,

You are a haven of propriety, beauty and intelligence amongst what passes for users of the English language on ASF.

Like all things one wishes for, now that I have me $1000 and have been "good" for 12 months, there is a certain malaise deep inside me.

All my favourite threads, Climate, Gillard, Obama, Tony Abbott, Godbotherers, Damsels in Foreign Jails Coming Undone by Unscrupulous Baggage Handlers, NSW Labor, Balmain Basketweavers, Greens, Reds, the 8c Aday ABC circus that passes for an independent broadcaster etc now vindicate my once unpopular ideas.

There is an acceptance amongst the hoi polloi of my opinions now.

There is nothing for it. I shall return to charting and await those PEN holders, and the holders of other sad stocks to rear their heads, with their fundamental nanometres of fill and other boring gumph.

Perhaps then, I can get an infraction for the greater good, and leave acrostics to the experts.

gg