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Jobs for Crusties/Greenies $250,000 pa

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Garpal Gumnut

Garpal Gumnut

Ross Island Hotel
Joined
2 January 2006
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The last bastion of sense in this country, the Public Service has fallen to the warmeners, godbotherers and other intellectually global weather cripples.

This recent advertisement from the Dept.of Penny Wong says it all.

Next we will have a Commissioner for Silly Walks.

The end is nigh in Australia.

I may have to emigrate to Alaska.

gg
 

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Won't it be to it's advantage to actually encourage climate change in order to build the empire.
 
All them university graduates need something to do....where would
they be without the public service creating silly jobs for them.
 
gee gg you looking through the job adds :confused: things are getting tough out their for the wealthy Aussie battler :p:
 
Trembling Hand said:
gee gg you looking through the job adds :confused: things are getting tough out their for the wealthy Aussie battler :p:
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No mate , I found it on a workers site.

http://australianconservative.com/main-site/

All the crusty left sites have closed down over the weekend, they must be getting their MS Office resume templates out, to put in for the job of a lifetime.

I might even let that whinging pommy joker down in the Whitsundays know there is another job going when his tourism job expires in November.

gg
 
Of course it has to be "Top Secret." They will be engaged in perpetrating a major fraud on the Australian people. They have to keep whistle blowers out of this one following the utegate debacle, where they got caught out.
 
jono1887 said:
LOL! Top Secret!! hahaha... they're probably just going to 'correct' the figures for greenhouse gas emissions :D
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Well it wouldn't be exactly hard to fudge the figures once you realise that world oil production is estimated by people looking at tankers through binoculars.

We don't actually have proper data now for production and it's far worse for reserves. So it shouldn't be too hard to skew consumption figures to show whatever they need to show.;)
 
Well I finally put my resume in for this beaut job, and I reckon I have a chance, as my Aunt Myrtle died recently and left me $100,000 dollars and after consultation with Joe I decided not to punt it on oilers, rocks or bio/techs and have instead donated it to the Labor Party. And I have a receipt.

Putting in a resume is easy.

I googled resume and used the one that seemed easiest to type in.

In "Academic Qualifications" I put in an MBA I received some years ago from the Byron D. Rekktall University of Theology in Tallahassee Florida. It cost $AUD 16 , that was a long time ago when the dollar was a dollar but its an MBA.

In experience I put in the following.

Attended Lionel Murphy's Funeral.
Am in the top right hand corner of Goughs photo " well may they etc." on the steps of parliament house after the infamous routing of a good PM.
Took photos of greenies chained to trees during the Franklin debacle.
Lent RJH a used condom at the infamous Terrigal ALP conference.
Have all of old baldy's whatsisname's CDs
Have many indigenous and migrant friends.
I love trees and weed.

I have an ongoing commitment to my own personal development and would not knock back a UN posting.

I am not married and refuse to reveal my sexual preferences and refer you to the RJH note above.

Lastly I respect anyone who would give me a job that pays me $250,000 a year and would gladly disembowel anyone who says anything bad about the person who gave me that job.

gg
 
gg, if you are appointed to this magnificent position, would you consider job sharing? I'd be happy to accept just one third of the salary, given that it would be your outstanding application as detailed above that secured the position.

I reckon we could, um, make a difference.:)
 
Garpal, you've got the job nailed mate. Not sure about your last sentence though? Have you changed sides or are you displaying a rederob trait? Disemboweling someone for $250,000. You could get the bikies to do it for $10,000.
 
Julia said:
gg, if you are appointed to this magnificent position, would you consider job sharing? I'd be happy to accept just one third of the salary, given that it would be your outstanding application as detailed above that secured the position.

I reckon we could, um, make a difference.:)
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Actually Julia, I have it on good authority that I'm in the running, and a probable rather than a possible.

Unfortunately I cannot jobshare but would be happy to employ you as an ADVISER .

Would $78,654 pa base with a a total package of $124.284 tempt you, car, fuel, super, salary sacrifice etc.etc.

You would need to be able to have a certificate of proficiency in the playing of pan pipes, but I can get one of those for you from Prof.Rekktall at Talahassee if this is a problem, for a small consideration of course.

gg
 
Garpal Gumnut said:
Actually Julia, I have it on good authority that I'm in the running, and a probable rather than a possible.

Unfortunately I cannot jobshare but would be happy to employ you as an ADVISER .

Would $78,654 pa base with a a total package of $124.284 tempt you, car, fuel, super, salary sacrifice etc.etc.

You would need to be able to have a certificate of proficiency in the playing of pan pipes, but I can get one of those for you from Prof.Rekktall at Talahassee if this is a problem, for a small consideration of course.

gg
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Dear Garpal,

I accept your kind offer. Be assured I am able to acquire any necessary paperwork from a source similar to that which you have found helpful.

My musical expertise thus far relates more to the flute, but I've no doubt I can master the pan pipes without difficulty.

I look forward to a long and mutually prosperous association.

Julia
 
Fair dinkum. Is this not how Gareth Evans and Cheryl Kernot got into trouble? She had plenty of experience with his flute, I am led to believe.
 
Julia said:
Dear Garpal,

I accept your kind offer. Be assured I am able to acquire any necessary paperwork from a source similar to that which you have found helpful.

My musical expertise thus far relates more to the flute, but I've no doubt I can master the pan pipes without difficulty.

I look forward to a long and mutually prosperous association.

Julia
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I will let you know Julia as soon as my position has been confirmed.

I trust you are an Australian citizen and will pass the rigorous Secrecy Checks that entail such a vital office.

1. Does Libby have a council tag about her neck.
2. Have you ever been to North Korea.
3. Is your radio always tuned to Fran and the stutterer from The Age at 0748 of a weekday morning on ABC RN.
4. Have you ever helped the Aged or Mentally Ill without payment (this will go against you)
5. Have you ever been not arrested at a G20 demonstartion.


Again, if there are any problems with the above Prof Rekktall from the Tallahassee College of Theology can provide the paperwork, except for Libby, he dont like dawgs.

We ( I now call I, we, ) welcome you on board, as

Adviser to me.

Aint it nice to be in 1984.



gg
 
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