Is there a sociopath in your life?

[rowie]

I have no desire to control anyone and I look out for myself without harming others.

I agree there are degrees of sociopathy. I don't really think this woman was seeking to deliberately cause me pain, but she was ruthless in her attempts to extract whatever she could from me.

That's what is so scary. It's easy to excuse the behaviour for a long time, before reality hits home.

What on earth was she trying to get out of you? She was the mother of a good friend you say, my relationships with mothers of good friends are usually hi/bye and the occassional dinner perhaps. Just curious to know what sort of relationship you had.

 

[moXJO]

Not sure that I want to elaborate on the fine details, but I became a victim of a close friend's mother, who milked me in many ways for years, before I finally managed to remove her from my life.

She was the most accomplished liar I have ever encountered and a very charming person to boot.

As I later discovered, the charm, as well as many other aspects of this person
were totally manufactured.

Sociopaths seem to solely exist in order to feather their own nests and control people for their own benefit.

Scary stuff, and sociopaths really need to be avoided and excluded from your life at all costs.

There is no cure or treatment for sociopathy.

Sounds like possible BPD

 

[bowman]

She managed to get quite a bit of money, none of which was paid back. Other than that she got a lot of my time - there was a litany of endless requests for favours and small jobs.

 

[RamonR]

I think that's true. Because they are bereft of normal emotional responses they don't recognise the damage and hurt they inflict.

They know the damage they create they just don't care.
The damage is done to someone else.

Sociopaths aren't bereft of normal emotional responses, it just they only care about themselves so don't show emotional responses to other peoples pain.

This thread makes it sound like a sociopath is easily spotted but this is far from the truth. They are usually smarter the normal and very clever at manipulating others.

 

[johnnyg]

She managed to get quite a bit of money, none of which was paid back. Other than that she got a lot of my time - there was a litany of endless requests for favours and small jobs.

Was there a reasoning behind yourself doing all of these jobs and lending money? Were you looking for something in return? If so what? (not meaning to be rude)

 

[bowman]

Was their a reasoning behind yourself doing all of these jobs and lending money? Were you looking for something in return? If so what? (not meaning to be rude)

LOL johnny

I've actually had therapy to deal with this issue and I eventually moved house to get away from this woman, so I don't really want to revisit a lot of this pain via a public forum.

Here's a sociopathy checklist to divert your attention

http://www.sociopathicstyle.com/traits/classic.htm

 

[johnnyg]

No worries bow, hope I wasnt too pressing, just interested thats all.

All the best with it.

 

[bowman]

Cheers johnny

I'm travelling well now. Only have to make sure the market doesn't take money from me, and that's comparatively easy.

 

[Mr J]

I have no desire to control anyone and I look out for myself without harming others.

I agree there are degrees of sociopathy. I don't really think this woman was seeking to deliberately cause me pain, but she was ruthless in her attempts to extract whatever she could from me.

That's what is so scary. It's easy to excuse the behaviour for a long time, before reality hits home.

You may not have a desire to control anyone, but a sociopath may not either. As you said, there are different degrees, and "sociopaths" will not necessarily display all qualities. Sociopaths will not necessarily seek to damage others, because they realise that in turn can damage themselves. It's likely that quite a few people here know sociopaths, but aren't aware of it.

 

[awg]

I had a brief association with one.

lent him some money to buy equipment

he sold it and kept the money

he is 196cm tall and 120kg

I got a quote from the bikies to recover ( 50/50 split)

but as he had recently had a heart operation, I decided to write the debt off

(only cause it is hard to call the bikies off, and if he died I would be in trouble)

during my investigation I found amongst other things

he is estranged from his family

he employed intellectually handicapped people, then if they had any money, got them to "invest"...and stole their money

an old guy got conned somehow into giving him $70k for lifelong tenancy

but then he sold his house, and the old guy had to live in his car until he DIED

buys and sells cars, but ALWAYS manages to fleece the other side

chronically cheats with other mens wives, then rubs everyones face in it

now married to a THAi wife and wants to live there, I predict he will die like a dog, as if you were to rip off everyone like that over there, you would get stabbed

never again

but I did get lucky, and narrowly avoid a female one...she was as sexy and attractive as a woman could ever be..she wrecked every blokes life that she became involved in

oh yeah..my sis was also married to one for a VERY short time.

I would have to say the common trait they shared was that they all came across as very interesting, even charming

 

[bowman]

It's estimated that 1 in 25 people have sociopathic traits.

Actually the only reason I bought up the subject today is because I became acquainted with a guy recently who exhibited some of the traits.

I haven't read this book but it looks interesting.

http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm

 

[nunthewiser]

Here's a sociopathy checklist to divert your attention

http://www.sociopathicstyle.com/traits/classic.htm

Oh bugga !

i ticked 90%

 

[Happy]

...

Seriously though, having a sociopath in your life can be one of the most devestating experiences you will ever have.

I wander, after you found out couldn't you outsmart her?

It looks like a difficult game, against accomplished liar, but there must be a way to be better.

But, if time is not on your hands, maybe better just to stay away.

 

[nunthewiser]

Oh bugga !

i ticked 90%

actually after rereading the page and lying to myself a lil more i only hit 40%

wooo hoo im cured

 

[bowman]

Staying away is much better Happy.

Once you realise you are in the company of a sociopath, it is a very creepy and unsettling experience to continue with the friendship.

 

[Mr J]

1 in 25, then it's certain that most of us know a few, and chances are that you don't even know it. It's interesting that you're telling stories of destruction, when the people involved may not have been "sociopaths" at all. They may just be destructive people, for any one of many reasons.

"Sociopath" is not really a proper term, since it's placing people in a group with regard to the extent at which they display these traits. Sociopaths can be quite different, with extremely different experiences in life. One may leave an endless trail of destruction behind them, while another may not be known by anyone, even by themselves.

The most important characteristic is the lack of remorse or genuine empathy. However, these can be manufactured to the extent that the individual believes them. We fool ourselves all the time. I'd go as far to say that most of us a sociopathic to an extent, and that it would only take certain situations to bring it out in us.

 

[Happy]

Staying away is much better Happy.
...

Yes, waste of time.

After all usually we engage in relationship that gives us understanding, true friendship, emotional security and possibly some support needed in difficult times.

 

[alwaysLearning]

I have no desire to control anyone and I look out for myself without harming others.

I agree there are degrees of sociopathy. I don't really think this woman was seeking to deliberately cause me pain, but she was ruthless in her attempts to extract whatever she could from me.

That's what is so scary. It's easy to excuse the behaviour for a long time, before reality hits home.

but what would one example be or her getting you to do something? You could just make an excuse and say naah, i got to do x and then y but maybe some other time. And just keep repeating that statement.

 

[bowman]

but what would one example be or her getting you to do something? You could just make an excuse and say naah, i got to do x and then y but maybe some other time. And just keep repeating that statement.

Eventually I started saying no more often, but that didn't stop the grind of the actual requests - and the lies (I found out she was a chronic gambler, which apparently is common with sociopaths, and which partly explained the constant money requests).

Trust me, it can be a very draining experience just to be with these people.

 

[voyz]

sounds like my ex fuk it took me ages to realise i was being used.... hooks up with someone elkse and still rings and asks for money and favours.

edit: she calls it friends but wont answer the phone if i needa talk to her