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ASF Poetry Thread

Jump to new
thanks Burr - that's a ripper
why is it we only find out these lessons when we reach retirement homes lol. (or nursing homes as you say :eek:) :2twocents
 
THE CLIMATE CHANGE DECLARATION
Johnny’s Last Stand

about the need for a gob-full pact
about this globular warming
to try to halt the “high tide fact”
the deserts, and the storming
this stand-up knock-down document
is such a major feat !!
so pin your ears back gentleman
I suggest you resume your seat

a chance perhaps for action
divert some serious bucks
a song with genuine traction
(or a swansong for lame ducks)
a chance for fancy motorcades
whether Cadillac / Holden / Desoto
and then of course there's the photo page
just … no one mention Kyoto
…………….

DRAFT
ok here’s the new draft fellas
"that we might one day perhaps"
hey if this is too strong tell us
"sign err something ??" (ok chaps?)

“that we’ll all try oh so diligently
to see that goals are set
and we all agree to DO it
just we don’t quite know WHAT yet.
next - we’ll all be oh so earnest
then to see that goals are MET
to avoid a global furnace
still we don’t know what when yet.”

that the air is getting hotter
cripes - from Nambour to the Nile
you ought to feel my collar sheesh
since Rudd came “into style”
we’ll tackle the question of letterheads
when we meet next “in a while”
when we sober up with betterheads
and we fan out this air of denial

and we promise once we leave here
to go out and spend real money
more caviar, George? - you're smiling !
say did I say something funny?
now to go out for the photo shoot
first here’s your drizabone
but be careful when you put it on
don’t hit your funnybone.
 
2020hindsight said:
THE CLIMATE CHANGE DECLARATION
Johnny’s Last Stand .
Click to expand...
I meant to add this under last post
not me laughing lol - (it's meant to be Johnny and George)

http://www.clicksmilies.com/

ROFL
laughing-smiley-014.gif


PS Maybe it should be renamed "Johnny and George’s Last Stand"
since they both enjoy the same credibility on globular warming and stuff
and neither will give an inch if it means that our standard of (wasteful) living falls one inch / cm whatever. ;)

By that I mean SHORT TERM standard of living
like - based on electoral cycles
(sheesh at this stage , we'll all know about cycles soon enough -
we'll all be riding one :()
1.4 billion Chinese can't be wrong.


will the US go to metric, Mr Bush, sir
"it's a cinch
hell it's drafted - its a pushover
we'll go there inch by inch"

how's your selfish conscience faring
on this global warming, friend?
"hell it's better for the airing
but it's hot air in the end"
Click to expand...
 
I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum

Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum

I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,

As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)
 
NOTES ON DRYZABONES

isn’t that just bloomin’ lovely - that the sky is dryzabone
for the photo on the footsteps - of the opera house on loan
guess they could go out to Bourke and try - to suck juice from a stone
cos they’d understand the subtle quirk - what it means, this “dryzabone”

so apropos of nothing - that you choose the opera sign
a burst of Pavarotti - someone stole his columbine
but you’d probly miss the point sir - with your heart of solid stone
your eye so blind to sadness - and like the future, dryzabone

those leaders - some selection!! - with their raft of multi-talents
there’s just a small correction - ‘bout the sex and creature balance
there’s mothers - one or two there - but they’re missing things more moral
Mother Nature!!, why aren’t YOU there? - nor a polar bear? – nor coral?

just a token lump of coral - praps with colours artificial
that was washed upon some sandy beach - a gift-box superficial
but it’s dead you see, you miss the point - some hot high tidal zone
and I’m sorry now to disappoint - but the coral’s as dryzabone.

you may think that this is cynical - and perhaps you’re partly right
just that “stupid”’s reached new pinnacles - in real un-cynic light
you may charge me that my humour - (mr bonsai bush-man clone)
is the humour of a cynic - my intention? dryzabone.
Pavarotti Vesti La Giubba - I Pagliacci

https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=101044&highlight=Pagliacci#post101044
VESTI LA GIUBBA Lyrics
(pagliacci)(on with the show)

Recitar!...mentre preso dal delirio
Non so piu quel che dico e quel che faccio!
Eppur...e d’uopo...sforzati! bah, sei tu forse un uom?
Tu se’ pagliaccio! vesti la giubba e la faccia infarina.
La gente paga e rider vuole qua.
E se arlecchin t’invola colombina, ridi, pagliaccio...
E ognum applaudira! tramuta in lazzi lo spasmo ed il pianto;
In una smorfia il singhiozzo e’l dolor...
Ridi pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto!
Ridi del duol che t’avvelena il cor!

Synopses
Canio, his wife nedda, and their troupe perform adulterous
Comedies in their traveling shows. this time, though, life imitates art. canio
Has just been warned that nedda is in the arms of another man. when canio
Arrives, the man is gone. ’tell me his name!’ he threatens. just at
That moment, they announce, ’it’s show time!’

English translation
Go on stage, while I’m nearly delirious?
I don’t know what I’m saying or what I’m doing!
And yet, chin up! I’ll try harder. bah, you think you’re a man?
You’re just a clown! on with the show, man,
And put on your white-face.
The people pay you and you must make them laugh.
And if harlequin should steal your columbine, laugh,
You’re pagliaccio, and the world will clap for you!
Turn into banter all your pain and sorrow,
And with your clowns’ face hide grief and distress...
Laugh loud, pagliaccio, forget all of your troubles,
Laugh off the pain that so empoisons your heart.
Click to expand...
 
2020hindsight said:
NOTES ON DRYZABONES
Click to expand...
so I'm helping hang out the clothes - (not that there's any sun lol) and these extra verses just blow through my head

DRYZABONE FOOTNOTE
you accuse me of being a cynic - when I say that it's all about "photo"?
may I recommend, sir, an eye clinic - here's the elephant !! - "why not Kyoto!!?"
and should I be judged hypocritical, for comparing your actions with "stone"
you're the one that composes political ... "greenhouse opera" and dryzabone
you're the one with the contradictions ... "greenhouse opera" and dryzabone

On behalf of a second hand sweeping, as it struggles to slow down this crime
on hehalf of the hourglass grains weeping, as they witness the cruel waste of time
on behalf of a third world that's sleeping - near death as they die alone
on behalf of a planet that's "bleeping" - I return you your dryzabone.
....
but thank you anyway.:(
Click to expand...
 
Oh, to have a dumb computer
that says it is speaking loud,
and all the time I'm wondering
why, I'm feeling, so very sad.

All this seems to be happening
since XP's introduction too,
and all the time I'm wondering
****-a-doodle-doo.

Some of us are packing, yes
is it service pack two,
and all the time I'm wondering
what to bloody do.

Time it came for loading
was it, reinstalling too,
and all the time I'm wondering
I have it all to do.

Hours and hours have passed now
windows updates, more and more,
and all the time I'm wondering
feeling, very, very sore.

The time has come to try it out,
good grief, it's grayed out once again,
and all the time I'm wondering
yes, have I got a brain.

I tried for Mensa once before
and turned away, felt insane,
and all the time I'm wondering
why I'm suffering so much pain.

They gave me only 133
and said, 150, it's the door.
and all the time I'm wondering
why, they showed me, I'm on the floor..

I'm speechless about this computer
that is driving me round the twist,
and all the time I'm wondering
yes, I only need a push.

Ayers rock I am to visit soon,
It's up there very high,
and all the time I'm wondering
yes, am I going to die.

Death by computer - by noirua
 
PUBS and POKIES
(4 corners suggests that pokie licences are migrating from the bush to the citiy ;))

It's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night where the wild dingos call
But there's nothin' so lonesome, (morbid or drear) or so damned un-blokey
Than to stand in the bar of a pub (with no beer)with no pokies.

Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
There's a faraway look on the face of the bum
The maid's gone all cranky and the cook's (acting queer) gone all smokey
What a terrible place is a pub (with no beer) with no pokies.

The stockman rides up with his dry, dusty throat
He breasts up to the bar, pulls a wad from his coat
But the smile on his face quickly turns (to a sneer) kinda croakey
When the barman says suddenly: "The pub's got (no beer!") no pokies

There's a dog on the verandah, for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinking wine with his mates
He hurries for cover (and he cringes in fear) behind the silky oaky
It's no place for a dog round a pub with (no beer) no pokies

Then in comes the swagman, all covered with flies
He throws down his roll, wipes the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told he says, ("What's this I hear?) YA GOTTA BE JOKEY!
I've trudged fifty flamin' miles to a pub (with no beer!") with no pokie

Old Billy, the blacksmith, the first time in his life
Has gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen; she says: "You're early, (me dear") my blokey
Then he breaks down and he tells her that the pub's got (no beer) no pokie

It's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night where the wild dingos call
But there's nothin' so lonesome, (so dull or so drear) and there's no-one so brokie
Than to stand in the bar ( of a pub with no beer) where they've taken the pokie. ;)
Click to expand...

I MEAN !!!
- a joke's a joke
and a poke's a poke
but serious sheeeh
no poke's -
no joke !!
Click to expand...
 
those who saw tonight's "Enough Rope" (on Cancer) might understand this one :eek:
ANDREW DENTON's ENOUGH ROPE 10.09.07

is cancer a figment, a foliage
can a tree divest it's gnarled wood
are these angelic ladies a college !!
and Hell!! is this Denton good !! ;)

Is Marcia Hines a dreamgirl
such an idol of everyone's eye
you're so positive heck I could scream girl
and compared to you two - I scrape by :eek:

may your wishes be "peaches and cream" girl
may your courage continue to fly
may your future be something supreme girl
and .... ;)
my wish is to meet and say "hi" :2twocents
Click to expand...
 
Traveston Dam was an issue put to Queenslanders at the last election. - one person / farmer / townsperson = one vote . (them's the rules in a democracy) :eek:

TRAVESTON DAM

They say I'm in the flooded zone
they say my farm will "die"
they wave this deed - my land is .."gone"
insist I say "goodbye"
praps I'll fight for a correction
praps I'll build a bludy moat
maybe "drawbridge" all directions
maybe ? waterproof the goat.?

So it went to an election
where I only had one vote
"Should they drown MY dad's selection?"
(sheesh - I muster from a boat?? :confused:)
ahhh... the travesty is mine alone
I'm "low-life" and you're "high"
but ... :( Traveston's my heart , my home..
and this flood is from mine eye.
 
THE NEW CINCINNATTI CREATION MUSEUM (Under Aussie Management)

we remarried the missus and I
whilst in Vegas on our vacation-
looked like Elvis, the celebrant guy-
with his toupee and facelift foundation-
so beautiful – just made us cry
I remember most the sincerity.
Like the Grand Canyon's history nearby
and its fossils – just comes with the territory

well we went to some hotel nearby
and we yielded ‘fore long to temptation
and we both gave a virginal sigh
(twas our 8000th copulation)
then we found us some “highway to heaven”
and set off on a bonking probation
still we rested on day number seven
I forget where – some Aussie creation

twas a sorta museum of sorts
with the dinosaurs meeting some Pharaoh
and its fully fact-based (all reports)
he’s a dinky dye true Aussie hero
he can prove there was winnie the pooh!!
coexisted with Christopher Robin!!
there was Ee-yore and Tigger too
that he’d stitched up with cotton and bobbin

he could prove every beast in the zoo
had been for a ride in the ark
there were bruises that left a mark blue
when Noah let loose for a lark
there was proof there’d been no transition
there was even a unicorn’s pelvis
he was simply a bludy magician
he was even better than Elvis .
 
PS
he said he was from Ironbark
why he’d gone to the US – who knew?
yes this bloke was a bit of a lark
(with an hint - just a hint - of cuckoo. ) ;)
 
Any of you folks lucky enough to hear Phillip Adams being interviewed today on "the conversation hour" - I happened to be driving to a site meeting. Such a brilliant mind -
he makes a couple of points
a) the fact that an asteroid caused the death of the dinosaurs is the only reason man is here!!!
b) we are a fluke result of that incident !! :2twocents
c) we should nonetheless marvel at the fact that we are alive; and
d) how could anyone be bored with this adventure called "life"

THE BIG BUMP THEORY

let’s assume evolution’s "ok"
(though we argue on big banging theory)
there’s a big bump along the way
(where I pause and give thanks every year )
I wouldn’t be here on this day
and I wouldn’t be typing this word
‘cept the “BIG BUMP” (to which I pray)
came in, “trillion to one” – so absurd!!

this heavenly asteroid hit
then the dinosaur decline occurred
left the ones up the front in the ****
then the back of the pack were in-terred
but the plus in that "dino-goodbye"
was that non-dinosaurs could emerge
heck we'd just be a glint in god’s eye !!!
if the dinosaur’s hadn’t been purged

from "the handful" rose serious mammals
and from serious mammals rose man…..
would the wise men who rode on those camels
agree - that’s a "bumpy old plan" :eek:
from there black men and white men and tamels
sprang from adam and eve and suzanne
by the skin of our teethy enamels -
hey that’s random :) – that’s luck ;) and that’s Man :eek:
Click to expand...
 
2020hindsight said:
Any of you folks lucky enough to hear Phillip Adams being interviewed today on "the conversation hour" - I happened to be driving to a site meeting. Such a brilliant mind -
he makes a couple of points
a) the fact that an asteroid caused the death of the dinosaurs is the only reason man is here!!!
b) we are a fluke result of that incident !! :2twocents
c) we should nonetheless marvel at the fact that we are alive;
d) how could anyone be bored with this adventure called "life"
Click to expand...
Adams had another couple of comments (seriously paraphrasing here - hopefully that interview will be posted on ABC website one of these days) :-

e) the mystery in the fact that we are unique - so unique that only THAT sperm with THAT egg could have ended up (months later whatever) making us.
f) that the odds against you being YOU (and not your brother for instance, i.e. the next sperm) are millions to one
g) that we then enjoy (on average) 630,000 hours of life = 72 years approx,
h) hence we are a "half-millionaires" with 630,000 hours allocated (again on average); and
j) that we treat each hour as a gift, and
k) he simply cannot understand how people could be bored with life given the beautiful mysteries and coincidences behind it all ;)


THE TRIATHLON OF LIFE

into the valley of womb and life
swam the 60 thousands
Fugue played by organs of husband and wife
tadpoles that grew in dad's trousers
chances of me being “me” in this second
why not this one or the other??
winning the egg in the swimming leg beckoned
else I’d be born..? my brother?

into the tunnel and birth canal
the “630k allocation”
way before knowing the rationale
of the labour ward’s warm ovation
630 thousand our hours on earth
and to wonder the WONDER of life
630 thousand counting down from birth
and to dance to a self styled fyfe.

into the valley of darkness and death
rode the 60,000
courage and cuss with each panting breath
madness and fear in the shouting
last fleeting glance of a summer sun
last murmured whisper goodbye
last distant echo of far off gun
last silent closing of eye
Click to expand...
PS
Maybe I’m broke in the money sense
or a half millionaire – it depends
on whether I count wealth in dollars and cents
or the stuff that the soul transcends
...
whether mother teresa or lady macbeth
whether sins obscene or absolved
irrespective - this too solid flesh ... will melt
and into a dew resolve.
Click to expand...
 

Attachments

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more on the same theme
hopefully there's a message in there amongst the bs ;)
HOW FAR TO THE FUTURE

what do YOU call the present?
this hour plus or minus a thousand?
what do YOU call the past?
vague shadows of memories frozen?
how long before YOUR future?
does "tomorrow" appear in a year?
;)
design it, define it to suit you -
but make the present a peer-less “here”!!. :eek:
Click to expand...
 
Julia said:
Rich,

So they did,
Right there among the woodbines and guinness stains,
And later he caught a bus and she a train
And all there was between them then
was rain."

- Brian Patten

_____________________________

Julia
Click to expand...

Hi Julia
many (perhaps 15) years ago while listening to a broadcast of poetry reading I heard a piece, part of which stuck in my mind but I was not able to discover the source.

"But let's unclip our minds
And let tumble free
The mad, mangled crocodiles of love.

So they did,
Right there among the woodbines and guinness stains,
And later he caught a bus and she a train
And all there was between them then
was rain"
Hi Julia
Many, (perhaps 15) years ago I was listening to a radio broadcast and heard a poem which I was unable to forget, yet could not discover it's author.

I joined this forum only 1 week ago and I couldn't believe my eyes that you had posted, and I had found, this poem !! and on a fear & greed site of all places
Perhaps now I can get it out of my head.
Now if I can only do the same with that bloody ABBA tune

Thanks
 
MORE U-TURNS THAT A CARPARK FULL OF GRANNIES

would I rate this year as extraordinary?
with the progress in matters tabu -

so out of the federal “ordinary”
so out of the poll driven blue.

would I rate this year as bizarre ?
(is a "red sky at dawn" sailor's warning?)

more u turns that a 5 storey carpark
full of grannies on Saturday morning.
........................
more uturns than sheep at a shearing
when the sheepdogs are snapping at heel;

more uturns that a dodgem car veering
with a drunkard asleep at the wheel;

or fishing by "casts" fully frantic
and a knot-entwined rusted-on reel;

more uturns that a yacht mid atlantic
that had lost its helm and its keel. :(
 
IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE FACT

If it weren’t for the fact that a man’s beliefs
are a province deep in his heart
We’d be winning Iraq, without all the grief
and we wouldn’t be “post event smart”
If it weren’t for the fact that a man sees the sunshine
that lands on HIS land as his
We’d be winning Iraq, no more frightened kids, gun-shy
of things from the sky that go “whiz”.

If it weren’t for the fact that a man is possessed
will a will to be “him” alone
not some stooge of some powerful bully, obsessed
with oil – that he drills with bomb cones.
If it weren’t for the fact that a man is committed
to “provinces” all his own
We’d be winning Iraq, and it wouldn’t be littered
with bodies with blood and with bone.

If it weren’t for the fact that we all scratch our head
and wonder why we are there
there’d be far more alive, and far fewer dead
in a land where there’s anger to spare
Has it come to this? we’re no better than Stalin?
and possibly worse than a Hitler?
we wouldn’t be gnashing our “I-teeth” and snarling
and the mess we are in would be littler.

If it weren’t for the fact that we’re way off track
and the world is not ours to “stage manage”
We’d be out of Iraq, and our boys would be back
and we wouldn’t be in this caged panic
If it weren’t for the fact we ignored the UN
when we set off on quests so questionable
we’d have conscience intact, and this angry pen
wouldn’t curse our lords so “aggressionable”.

If it weren’t for the fact that the world will remember
George Bush , long after he’s gone
not so much for a righteous defence of “September”,
nor a righteous Kabul later on
If it weren’t for the fact of one George W Bush
(George senior , you’ve got quite a son there )
We’d be winning Iraq, - forget “one last push” !!
cos we’d never have bludiwell gone there.

Baghdad would be free of the Afghan AlQuida
and both would be free of extremists
there’s no point in praying “hey God catch a glider
to somehow come down and redeem us”
they tell us it’s too late! – no point asking “WHY!!!”
now that devils are here and abeam us :(
….
Are there STILL things to do?? - for my grandkids and you ??!
WHO must think this thing through ?? – WE must. !! :eek:
 
reg·i·cide –noun
1. the killing of a king.
2. a person who kills a king or is responsible for his death, esp. one of the judges who condemned Charles I of England to death.
Click to expand...
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&q=john+howard+in+power&meta=

KING JOHNNY DISCUSSING REGICIDE WITH HIS TROOPS

I’ve called this meeting this morning
cos the polls have us out on a ledge
and this talk of a “Regicide” (??) dawning
well not while I’m bludy REG
I prefer a swandive with some backfiips
than ungrateful ungraceful swan songs
in my “blue-G-string-half-brickie’s-crack” flips
what Blair and friend Bush would call thongs.

I’m Robin of Loxley whatever
I’m the Rex of my seat Benalong
now to ponder if I’m the most clever
cos I’ve “ben a long” time as REG KONG
well the polls say the party is sinking
yet the polls adore ME (REG) arms wide
if YOU LOT were liked, I’m thinking
then gravity might be on OUR side

I’ll spike all your drinks with half vodkas
that‘ll teach you to bludywell sledge
I’ll publish a youtube for podcasts
that my name is still KING REG
I’ve stll got my super-annuation
(if the Caymans go broke, then I’ll hedge)
like the way to police this nation
I’ll find some political wedge.

If you give me that damned “King-is-dead” word
I’d say that that doesn’t make sense!!
that’s worse than that “watch-under-bed” word
what the heck? “Long live the Prince??”:confused:
and nobody mention this new word
(I just heard whilst out on that ledge)
this "Regicide" (haven’t a clue!) word
cos my name - do you HEAR - is still REG!!

I’ve one thing to say to young Kevin
choose the ring and come down here you blighter
cos gravity’s a law unto heaven
(pretty please come and fight like a man :eek:)
it that ALSO sounds stupid “King Kevin”!!
You’ll be headless like bludy Queen Anne
and my spine is aquiver and revving
come down and fight REG, Spiderman.

.........
as to whether (King John) this is personal
or this power thing's arguably tidal
10 years wed for better-or-worse-an-all - sheesh
if you walk then it's not "regicidal"!!
I hope you don’t mind this, your highness
when recalling this all later on
with Robin of Benalong behind us
can we then call you... just ... Little John?. ;)
 

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